Tit-bits for your break…

最爱引用名句的我，又找到了令我感动的一段话，虽然看似很普通，但当出现在对的时间时，感触，颇为深刻。。。

不管我们能不能见面，
不管你会不会忘了我，
我只想告诉你一个秘密，
我爱你。

好久没听“大头芬的世界”了，无聊中突然想继续从上次停下的地方读起，读到第二篇，又有了一篇蛮不错的散文，值得分享。

转载自：“大头芬的世界”
http://datoufen.blogspot.com

那是一個非常寧靜而美麗的小城﹐有一對非常恩愛的戀人﹐他們每天都去海邊看日出﹐晚上去海邊送夕陽﹐每個見過他們的人都向他們投來羨慕的目光……

　　可是有一天﹐在一場車禍中﹐女孩不幸受了重傷﹐她靜靜地躺在醫院的病床上﹐幾天幾夜都沒有醒過來。白天﹐男孩就守在床前不停地呼喚毫無知覺的戀人﹔晚上﹐他就跑到小城的教堂裡向上帝禱告﹐他已經哭乾了眼淚。

　　一個月過去了﹐女孩仍然昏睡著﹐而男孩早已憔悴不堪了﹐但他仍苦苦地支撐著。終於有一天﹐上帝被這個痴情的男孩感動了。於是他決定給這個執著的男孩一個例外。上帝問他﹕“你願意用自己的生命作為交換嗎﹖”男孩毫不猶豫地回答﹕“我願意﹗”上帝說﹕“那好吧﹐我可以讓你的戀人很快醒過來﹐但你要答應化作三年的蜻蜓﹐你願意嗎﹖”男孩聽了﹐還是堅定地回答道﹕“我願意﹗”

　　天亮了﹐男孩已經變成了一隻漂亮的蜻蜓﹐他告別了上帝便匆匆地飛到了醫院。女孩真的醒了﹐而且她還在跟身旁的一位醫生交談著什麼﹐可惜他聽不到。

　　幾天後﹐女孩便康復出院了﹐但是她並不快樂。她四處打聽著男孩的下落﹐但沒有人知道男孩究竟去了哪裡。女孩整天不停地尋找著﹐然而早已化身成蜻蜓的男孩卻無時無刻不圍繞在她身邊﹐只是他不會呼喊﹐不會擁抱﹐他只能默默地承受著她的視而不見。夏天過去了﹐秋天的涼風吹落了樹葉﹐蜻蜓不得不離開這裡。於是他最後一次飛落在女孩的肩上。他想用自己的翅膀撫摸她的臉﹐用細小的嘴來親吻她的額頭﹐然而他弱小的身體還是不足以被她發現。

　　轉眼間﹐春天來了﹐蜻蜓迫不及待地飛回來尋找自己的戀人。然而﹐她那熟悉的身影旁站著一個高大而英俊的男人﹐那一剎那﹐蜻蜓幾乎快從半空中墜落下來。人們講起車禍後女孩病得多麼的嚴重﹐描述著那名男醫生有多麼的善良﹑可愛﹐還描述著他們的愛情有多麼的理所當然﹐當然也描述了女孩已經快樂如從前。

　　蜻蜓傷心極了﹐在接下來的幾天中﹐他常常會看到那個男人帶著自己的戀人在海邊看日出﹐晚上又在海邊看日落﹐而他自己除了偶爾能停落在她的肩上以外﹐什麼也做不了。
　　這一年的夏天特別長﹐蜻蜓每天痛苦地低飛著﹐他已經沒有勇氣接近自己昔日的戀人。她和那男人之間的喃喃細語﹐他和她快樂的笑聲﹐都令他窒息。

　　第三年的夏天﹐蜻蜓已不再常常去看望自己的戀人了。她的肩被男醫生輕擁著﹐臉被男醫生輕輕地吻著﹐根本沒有時間去留意一隻傷心的蜻蜓﹐更沒有心情去懷唸過去。

　　上帝約定的三年期限很快就要到了。就在最後一天﹐蜻蜓昔日的戀人跟那個男醫生舉行了婚禮。
　　蜻蜓悄悄地飛進教堂﹐落在上帝的肩膀上﹐他聽到下面的戀人對上帝發誓說﹕我願意﹗他看著那個男醫生把戒指戴到昔日戀人的手上﹐然後看著他們甜蜜地親吻著。蜻蜓流下了傷心的淚水。

　　上帝嘆息著﹕“你後悔了嗎﹖”蜻蜓擦乾了眼淚﹕“沒有﹗”上帝又帶著一絲愉悅說﹕“那麼﹐明天你就可以變回你自己了。”蜻蜓搖了搖頭﹕“就讓我做一輩子蜻蜓吧……”

有些緣份是註定要失去的。愛一個人不一定要擁有﹐但擁有一個人就一定要好好去愛他。你的肩上有蜻蜓嗎﹖

我总认为这世上没有任何东西可以完美地诠释一个人的感受，快乐是如此，伤感亦是如此。

然而，一而再，再而三的经验让我发现到，原来歌曲诠释感觉的功力，是如此地高。

每每独自一人呆在房里苦无人陪时，脑子里的想象空间最宽阔，白纸似的脑袋总会想些平时不曾察觉的事。乐得清淡的当儿，孰不知寂寞的感觉总是悄悄地入侵那微弱的心灵。熟练的开启电脑，随手就捻来几首个来听，总会有那么的一首，能代我说出心中的苦恼，绝非内容类似，而总是那么准确、那么地巧，让我在不需要亲口诉说的情况下，得到解脱。

或许我是个感性的人吧。每每遇上了与心中所思的苦恼完全一样的歌时，总会莫名地产生共鸣，泪，也就不经意地逃离眼睛的囚禁，直落而下。

而今天又让我有感触的歌是什么呢？

“不能说的秘密”- 周杰伦
词：方文山
曲：周杰伦

Is it impossible for a person to alter his/her personality?

As for me, it’s definitely possible, the key is just whether the person really keen to do it.

“世上无难事，只怕有心人”，I have already hold this principle for a long time. For me, there’s no impossibility in this wonder world. As long as you have the keen and the patience to do it, with correct method, you can achieve whatever you want, without any doubtness. And really thanks to this principle, I achieved many things that I had dreamed for, moreover, many are influenced by me to have their efforts begun, and finally, they all suceeded.

Hope that I can influence this person also.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Ones may very take note on ones’ freedom oneselves.

They might not allow anyone to limit their freedom, once you become a busybody and try to challenge them by limiting them, you are out. No kidding.

But being ignored, is very annoying!

Who can answer me the question above?

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
This one week short-termed holiday is really torturing. Envision that you CANNOT (can after all if you want to) play as usual, nor relax to regain energy.

You have to strive.

Maybe I made a mistake, it’s "I have to strive".

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
Starting from the very first day of the holidays, my life is gray. A stunning sms has started my sorrow… And the frequency of short message alert of my phone plummeted drastically.

A severe question banged my head: "Which university should I aim for after this sorrowful STPM?" Local university? Or overseas? Perhaps NUS? Neither. Neither one is perfect. We will be apart, which I don’t wish to happen.

And that afternoon they went out to play… I stayed in house, sitting in front of my table, doing those funny but torturing mathematics, all alone.

Akon! I feel lonely too!

I wonder this holiday is holy or horrible…

News spread: "Your STPM TRIAL will be started on 27th August 2007."

What a great news! All hails to the most wonderful event that we are going to participate within a month!

In fact, we are tired.

Perhaps not "we", but at least I am tired.

Couldn’t the government and school have some mercy on its students? We have been undergone all sorts of uncountable tests since the very first day of our STPM life! In order to sit for those useless yet boring small test we had already wasted lots of valuable time to finish our syllabus and of course revision! We ended up with a rushing time table and lack of sleep! No doubts that Malaysia got so many panda… China sure very jealous with this…

Three more weeks to go, yet I haven’t finish studying my physics, rotten chemistry, mathematics which had already forgotten, and untouched general paper! How am I going to sit for this cruel yet banishing exam! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Testophobia, I think I have been caught by it.

So long, my blog is left out-dated. Really busy these few weeks. Apart of the accumulating homeworks, there’s uncountable PERTINA problems to be solved. Ai…

STPM is approaching, yet I am not ready yet. Although teachers have done their syllabus, I myself hasn’t made it in the progress. Getting slower and dumber, I feel less and less confident to handle STPM, the fear in my heart… Undescribable.

Yet there’s some more troubles other than these, which are at sixes and sevens. Frustrating! But ai… Still not ready to be shared here, sorry to all my readers.

Anyway, all the best to everyone in every aspect!

It has been already a trend in all of the people who know me, friends and teachers inclusive… No matter what, there must be a popular comment:

"Park Soon, you think too much already."

There are advices, some more are even in lecture form. However, I just don’t know why I can’t stop this bad habit. "Think a lot" may be envied by some as they will always say: "Wah, I don’t even have a thought on this leh, this idea is really creative man!" However, this is only a small part, mostly it goes this way: "Well, you think too much already, things won’t happen this way, even there’s possibility, it’s too small!"

Even I received such lectures since very young (since primary I think), I seems like not bother them at all. In my view it’s nothing bad to think so much, so why shouldn’t I think of them, just filter out those irrelavant stuffs after thinking, is there any problem?

But I just realised there ARE problemS, recently, from a close friend.

Yea, I really think too much in everything. Sometimes we should try to make things easier and be optimistic. KISS (Keep it short and simple) does not seem to be existing in my mind, although Henry always emphasis on it. I tend to think too much, especially on the bad side. This causes people to be resentful on me. And really thanks to this close friend, I will try my very best to KISS, to maintain our relationship.

Great thing does not depend on quantity, but on quality.

That’s what I finally realised.

Here it goes:

1) Is "losing something" benefits?

2) If it is, does it benefit you, or benefit the others?

3) If it isn’t, is "owning something" benefits?

4) Are you willing to lose something very important, which will affect you for a lifetime?

5) What if the thing you are going to lose, will benefit the others (in your own perception) but hurt you?

6) What again if you just feel that you are going to lose it, but actually not (without your notice)?

7) And finally what if your prediction (that you will lose it) is accurate?

I have to decide.

And Loong taught me: "Don’t regret after making decision".

However, my answers are:

1) Don’t know.

2) I don’t know.

3) I really don’t know.

4) I really don’t know this.

5) I really don’t know this at all.

6) I really don’t even know this at all.

7) I really don’t even wish to know this at all.

What should I do?

I am in dilemma…

Haiz… Wishing these questions will be solved as soon as possible. Perhaps tomorrow.